Welcome to The Third Day of Chanukah at JewishPath
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Light Three Candles

Order the Chanukah Story on CD

Happy Chanukah!

Tonight is the third night of Chanukah. We light three candles and say two Blessings after dark. This is Erev Yom Shishi {27-09-5768}. First we light the server candle {The Shamis Candle} in the center to use as a lighter for our third, second and first candles or the far right. We light the third candle first (that is the third candle from the right) then we light the second and first candles afterwards.

Print out the Blessings - Please be very careful with this printout it has the Holy Names of the Creator printed on it. Be careful not to drop it or set anything on it. Keep it in a safe place. When you are finsished using it please return it to:

B'nai Noach Torah Institute
POB 1075
Georgetown, Colorado 80444-1075 USA

First Blessing over the lighting of the candle...
Blessed are you O L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us through His commandments and commanded us to kindle the Chanukah lights.

Audio
Say the Blessing in Hebrew




Second Blessing in remerance of the miracles...
Blessed are you O L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who brought miracles for our ancestors, in those days at this time {of year}.

Audio
Say the Blessing in Hebrew





Three Short poems for Chanukah on the Third Night
The Yuppies Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my Cusinart to keep.
I pray my stocks are on the rise,
and that my analyst is wise.
that all the wine I sip is white,
and that my hottub's watertight,
that racquetball won't get too tough,
that all my sushi's fresh enough.
I pray my cordless phone still works,
that my career won't lose its perks,
my microwave won't radiate,
my condo won't depreciate.
I pray my health club doesn't close,
and that my money market grows.
If I go broke before I wake,
I pray my BMW they won't take.



A Poem
As I lay in bed the other night
I dreamt I saw a wondrous sight,
I dreamt that I had passed away
And gone to realms of endless day.
And there before my wondering sight
Stood pearly gates, all shining white,
A Saint with his golden key
Came out and stooped to speak with me.
'Dear child, before we let you in
You must confess your every sin,
So come with me, and I'll show you
How we propose this thing to do.'
He took me to a mighty flight
Of stairs that twisted out of sight
Into the clouds that hid the sky
From mortal sinners, such as I.
'Climb to the top, if that you dare,
A monstrous blackboard standeth there
And on that board you there must scrawl
Your every sin, both great and small.'
A piece of chalk he handed me
And such a piece I ne'er did see
'Twas six foot long, I tell no lies
Three feet across, gargantuan size.
I started on the lengthy climb
(Expecting it to take some time).
My every sin I must record
And write upon that great black board.
Now as I climbed, quite soon I found
That someone else was coming down,
For as I climbed one twisted flight
A well-known face came into sight.
Now, who that was I'd best not say
(His kippah gave the game away)
'You've finished ?' I began to talk,
'No, Yed, {Jew} I need more chalk'.



The Chanukah Song
Written By: Adam Sandler
Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Chanukah
So much funukah
To celebrate Chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me
David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So do Kirk Douglas, James Caan and the late Dina Shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzarelli
Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too
Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew
You don't need 'Deck the Halls' or 'Jingle Bell Rock'
'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock --
both Jewish!
Put on your yarmulke
It's time for Chanukah
The owner of the Seattle Supersonicahs
Celebrates Chanukah
O.J. Simpson,......NOT A JEW!
But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew -- he converted.
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish -- not too shabby!
Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,
well he's not, but guess who is
All Three Stooges!
So many Jews are in showbiz
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend Veronica
It's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get a harmonicah
On this lovely, lovely Chanukah
So drink your gin and tonicah
And smoke your MARIJUANICA
if you really, really wannakah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah

Happy Chanukah Everybody!

JewishPath



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